THE FLOWER OF THREE WISHES  

Across Asia, the areca nut, also known as betel nut, is prized. Wrapped in the leaf of a vine called betel pepper vine and chewed with lime, the dried, sliced kernels stain the teeth a deep red and give the user a mild euphoric buzz 

Chewing betel is usually a habit of older people, but in Cambodia, the areca palm takes on another vital role for a younger generation. Every young couple know the palm, not for its fruit or its beautiful foliage, but for its very plain flower. In Cambodia, this unassuming flower seals the wedding vow. 

Decorated with orchids and other blooms, it is brought to the house of the bride-to-be by the groom, his family grouped behind him, and presented as a token of his intentions. Why this flower has been chosen to represent so much is complicated, according to Deputy Director of Culture of the Technical Department of the Ministry of Culture, Her Excellency, Kosony. 

"There is an old legend called "Slaa Preah Por Bei" "(Wedding Flower of Three Wishes) which explains the symbolism of this flower," she says. 

 
"Dying, the bird dropped the girl, but she fell into a lake. When the man who had studied the strength of gods swam to her and dragged her to the shore she was dead.  "Then, the healer worked his magic to bring her back to life, That done, all wanted to marry her, but who had saved her life the most? Only one could have her, but all had helped her. They took their problem, and the girl, to the Greatest Buddha. 

"Greatest Buddha listened to their tale, than told them the swimming man would have her as a wife. "why do you do like this?' the other tree cried, 'he deserves her least -she was dead when he took her from the water.' But Greatest Buddha said: This girl possesses all the five beauties, including good behaviour. No man ever touched her until this man embraced her to save her, so he must be hers.' But then Greatest Buddha turned to the swimming man.

'Without your friends, you would not have this woman, so you must acknowledge this by talking an areca flower and dividing it into three sections to show your appreciat ion,' This he did, and to this day, the flower represents the appreciation of the groom to the others who have helped him get the pure woman."

Once at the bride's house, the green spike of the modern areca flower is cut open to reveal the feathery fronds of flowers. 

A wise man divides this into three pieces, just like the legend. 

Each part is bound with three red threads of cotton to represent the joining of the couple, the children to come and the ancestors who preceded them. 

The first, smallest part is give to the siblings of the bride, along with seven be tell eaves. This represents the archer's part of the prize. The second is given to the mother an, if there is one, the grandmother, with 12 bet el leaves, representing the 12 traits Buddhist tradition believes the mother gives to her child, including blood, seat and tears. This is the healing man's share.

The third goes to the father and grandfather with 21 leaves, symbolizing the 21 traits a father gives to his child, such a bone, teeth and nails - the hard parts of a person. This is the horoscope man's share. 

The groom, like the swimming man, is rewarded with the product of all these things, the bride. 

But there are other, more anthropological meanings to the use of this particular flower and the union of the three elements needed to chew betel according to Nou Vann, 77, official Wise Man to the royal Palace 

Mr. Nou says this one, like many in Cambodia culture, probably has its roots in pre-Buddhist traditions. 

"Before Buddha, people had many of these beliefs, but it was not until the Greatest Buddha arrived on earth to spread his word that people understood their is symbolically like pubic hair."

"The betel leaf, in turn, shrews the shape of the female sexual anatomy, and the lime symbolizes the sexual secretions necessary to create life between two people. So together they represent the union of marriage". This symbolism, combined with the commercial value of the areca palm and its important place in Khmer culture, makes the flower perfect to wish for a fertile, prosperous married life. Mao Sarun, 35, makes his living cutting the flower for weddings. Through the years, the plain green spike has been the centre of his life in PrekEng Village, Kien Svay District. 

 
"I remember my wedding day very clearly, even though it was nearly 14 years ago- carrying the flower from my house to my wife's house. I was trembling with happiness. I felt like a prince," he says. 

Now, he cuts them for other people's weddings. 

"Every day in the dry season from the end of September until April, I cut three to five flowers. Sometimes, on very lucky days, I might cut 10," he says. 

"I must be careful. There can be no crack in the flower husk or people will not want to buy it. They think this symbolises a crack in the marriage, and divorce and unhappiness latter." "And the round end of the flower, like its two arms, must be intact, otherwise the flower is the same as a cripple. This, too, is bad luck." His wife, Thou Souplaun, 38, can't stress the importance the flower holds for a new bride enough. 

 
"Every time he cuts a flower for another young couple, it brings back memories of watching him come to my house all those years ago, bearing this flower, and how felt," she says. "there are no words to describe what it means to a young woman. The groom ringing that flower honours her as a pure Khmer girl, and shows what respect he feels for the family for making me what I am."

Areca grower Kun Vuthhy is 61. Just as he has watched the girls in his family grow up and take the areca flower from their husbands-to- be, he watches over his grove of areca palms.

"A lot of care goes into getting these flowers," he says. "A plant will not produce one until it is five or six years old. After that, if you care for the plant well, it might produce seven or eight flowers a year until it is 25 years."

During that time, it will do more than simply provide the floral seal for marriages. Besides providing fruit to chew, the areca nut is prescribed by Kru Khmei (traditional healers) as a breath freshener, and a medication for diabetes. Boiled into a tea, the flower or the fruit will both help relieve stomach ache, Mr. Vuthy says.

But these are more mundane roles for the humdrum days of married life which might follow. They are far from a young couple's minds, the day the flower from Kun Vutthy's areca grove, cut by Mao Sarun, laden with orchids and legends and borne by a young groom, arrives at the threshold of his young bride and the tradition of the wedding flower passes down to one more generation.

Words: Moeun Nhean. Picture: Nathan Dexter, Murray Wray. Illustrations: Lang Seckon.